内外不一

大多数人对我的印象都是

“坚强”

事实是这样吗？

其实，

那也只是外表而已。。。

其实，

我是温室里的野草。。。

其实，

我内心并没有动漫里主角们的内心强大。。。

若是遇到一些微不足道或我曾预想过的事情，

能混过去的，

会把握一些，舍弃一些混过去；

不能混过去的，

也不把它当回事，

不把它放在心里或脑海里，

置身事外地混过去。。。

但。。。

一旦发生一些出乎意料之外的大事，

内心会随着时间慢慢崩溃。。。

焦虑也会一直持续到问题解决为止。。。

负面情绪围绕着整个身心。。。

其实，

很是喘不过气来。。。

有够累的。。。

追债

每每我发生意想不到的事情或中蚊症住院，
家人往往都会全员出动。

年迈的父母和远在他乡的老哥，
为了我到处奔波。。。

我很内疚和惭愧。。。
感觉自己是来追债的。。。

Reason for Kindness

As a breeze blew into the room from the monotonous window,
I put a frown on my face to try to hide my awkward shyness.

Nodding ambivalently, I seem to be trying too hard today
as I decide how to shape the "today" I'm holding in my palm.
I have a feeling that something is about to change,
and I blame you since you're the one calling out to my heart.

A peek at the cloudy sky tells me what's to come.
Let's stretch out our hands with courage more powerful than ever.

Although both light and shadow are still far in the distance,
we still wish to know the reason for this kindness.
Towards a far and radiant place no one has been able to reach yet,
let's go find it before everything becomes history.

As I let out a loud sigh at the unreliable world,
you, as though making fun of my limited vision,
gaze up at the sky. What color is the sky you see?
It must be blue, high, and clear.

We keep missing each other while trying to get closer.
I hope one day we'd be able realize that we were indeed lost.

Completely dissatisfied with my own words, again and again,
I end up trying to embellish my lines awkwardly.
The two of us have begun to notice the emerging meaning
of both joy and misery as well as the reason behind them.

Completely dissatisfied with my own words,
again and again, I end up trying to embellish my lines awkwardly.
I will send my thoughts your away together with
this pain which I'm unable to express in words.

Although both light and shadow are still far in the distance,
we still wish to know the reason for this kindness.
Towards a far and radiant place no one has been able to reach yet,
let's go find it before everything becomes history.

if we shine

The rainbow after the rain and the flower that bloomed in the cold are changing colours and overflowing
As you looked up at the red sky, on that day, I fell in love with you
Even a single frame of this film full of dramatic instants will not disappear
Because I will engrave it all in my heart

You, it is you, you were the one who taught me
Taught me that even the darkness will shine when it becomes a starry sky
Don’t hide your sadness behind smiles anymore
No matter which shining star it is, it will illuminate you

The morning sun that I was waiting for forgetting even about sleep, in randomly piercing through
Even the headache that the depression brings will be forgotten, if I meet you
The romantic silence
Like the sugar that has been mixed in the tea, your voice circulates all through my body

You, it is you, you were the one who made me smile
Even tears will shine and will become a meteor
Don’t let go this hand that has been hurt anymore
In this sky where all our wishes have been gathered, tomorrow will surely come

The light that guided me was you
Caught up in it, I too started to run
Before I knew it, we were starting to cross paths
Look, right now and right here, it is shining

You, it is you, you were the one who taught me that darkness too will end
Taught me that even the darkness will shine when it becomes a starry sky
Don’t hide your sadness behind smiles anymore
No matter which shining star it is, it will illuminate you

Is the answer always is coincidence? or is it the inevitable?
Someday, the very path that we have chosen will become our fate
The hope and the uncertainty that we have grasped
Will surely become the light that makes us move forward

night...sky

when i was a kid,

i had wished to explore the universe,

and fascinated so much on planets, stars, galaxies and black holes of course...

but as i grew up,

i felt melancholy whenever i looked up to the sky or imagined the universe...

how tiny are humans compared to universe...
where humans will go after death...

felt so alone and lonely...

totally cant pull myself out from this gloomy mud...

in the end,me myself fell into deeply to self-made black hole...

however,

the affection to the sky never fade away...

the sky without any pollution...

and particularly, the night sky...

i love the night sky with stars...

i love the night sky with aurora...

it is too beautiful...

even the camera might fail its duty...

only eyes can perfectly capture it and store it into memories...

Do You Ever Shine?

Do You Ever Shine?
Do You Ever Try?
to live, or die

If you run away from the friction,
you'll still be trapped in the cage

Do You Ever Shine? 

Do You Ever Try?
to live, or die

until you get lost in the trouble, you won't see the brightest light
Do You Ever Shine?

Go towards the direction of the sounds when you're lost

Please let our voices reach, even when we're separated in faraway places 

Go towards the direction of the sounds when you're lost

Good fortune will definitely come to the homes of those who laugh 

Look, even those eyes swollen from crying suit a smiling face better

We were able to meet in this stifling world 

Let's go and see this colourful world  together

For someone like you who works hard, there'll definitely be times where you hit a wall 

But it's okay, you don't have to shoulder it all alone

If you'll laugh, I'll laugh as well 

Round and round, it'll reach someone else again 

Please let our voices reach, even when we're separated in faraway places 

Go towards the direction of the sounds when you're lost

On those new days, where the seasons change, I stand alone on the busy train platform 

Going up and down 

My heart's bewildered by the new environment that I can't get used to

I can't walk well along the bustling streets 

But through the gaps between the buildings, 

look, the sky's so wide today too

I wipe those tears that I can't show to anyone and continue walking 

The wind starts blowing, and my hair sways along. 

The future is just starting

If you'll sing, I'll sing as well 

It's okay even if you aren't good at it. 

Let me listen to your voice 

Each and every sound is different 

I'll find you even in places where the light can't reach

If you'll laugh, I'll laugh as well 

Round and round, it'll reach someone else again 

Please let our voices reach, even when we're separated in faraway places 

Go towards the direction of the sounds when you're lost

the 20 facts about me

1. Single but still waiting for the right one.

2. In her 20’s and hope to travel to almost every Asian country in her golden 20’s.

3. Lost her appetite with the fast food.

4. Currently lack of money.

5. Try to be a better person.

6. Start to regret for the chances and opportunities that had missed during school days.

7. Fond with almost all dessert.

8. Start to realize dad, mom and bro are getting old. *So, do I…*

9. Have a car for work, but work to pay the car loan…

10. Next target is to buy a house, just wait if she can get the jackpot of the lottery.

11. Scare the pant off when deal with snake.

12. A big fail in swimming due to the fearful to water.

13. Interested in biology but end up with physics.

14. Have a job that not related to physics.

15. Had lost her own room since uni days due to water pipe leaked.

16. Try to have a long straight hair to cover her tomboy-ness.

17. Just know how to wear it out cool instead of sexy.

18. An otaku.

19. Adapt to be alone but feel lonely.

20. Interested more in electronic devices than clothes.

回家路

心累了，
但，
回家的路途遥远。。。

塞车的10大主因

1. 交通事故
2. 车主们太过鸡婆，好奇心太强了
3. 某车抛锚了
4. 交通灯发生故障
5. 龟速的汽车和车主在母鸡带小鸡，有时候还驾在2条lane的中间
6. 从多条lane突然间缩到只有1,2条lane
7. 交通警察叔叔指挥交通,设路障
8. 纯粹多车
9. 上山路段
10. 完全没任何理由的纯塞车