内外不一

大多数人对我的印象都是

“坚强”

事实是这样吗？

其实，

那也只是外表而已。。。

其实，

我是温室里的野草。。。

其实，

我内心并没有动漫里主角们的内心强大。。。

若是遇到一些微不足道或我曾预想过的事情，

能混过去的，

会把握一些，舍弃一些混过去；

不能混过去的，

也不把它当回事，

不把它放在心里或脑海里，

置身事外地混过去。。。

但。。。

一旦发生一些出乎意料之外的大事，

内心会随着时间慢慢崩溃。。。

焦虑也会一直持续到问题解决为止。。。

负面情绪围绕着整个身心。。。

其实，

很是喘不过气来。。。

有够累的。。。

追债

每每我发生意想不到的事情或中蚊症住院，
家人往往都会全员出动。

年迈的父母和远在他乡的老哥，
为了我到处奔波。。。

我很内疚和惭愧。。。
感觉自己是来追债的。。。

Reason for Kindness

As a breeze blew into the room from the monotonous window,
I put a frown on my face to try to hide my awkward shyness.

Nodding ambivalently, I seem to be trying too hard today
as I decide how to shape the "today" I'm holding in my palm.
I have a feeling that something is about to change,
and I blame you since you're the one calling out to my heart.

A peek at the cloudy sky tells me what's to come.
Let's stretch out our hands with courage more powerful than ever.

Although both light and shadow are still far in the distance,
we still wish to know the reason for this kindness.
Towards a far and radiant place no one has been able to reach yet,
let's go find it before everything becomes history.

As I let out a loud sigh at the unreliable world,
you, as though making fun of my limited vision,
gaze up at the sky. What color is the sky you see?
It must be blue, high, and clear.

We keep missing each other while trying to get closer.
I hope one day we'd be able realize that we were indeed lost.

Completely dissatisfied with my own words, again and again,
I end up trying to embellish my lines awkwardly.
The two of us have begun to notice the emerging meaning
of both joy and misery as well as the reason behind them.

Completely dissatisfied with my own words,
again and again, I end up trying to embellish my lines awkwardly.
I will send my thoughts your away together with
this pain which I'm unable to express in words.

Although both light and shadow are still far in the distance,
we still wish to know the reason for this kindness.
Towards a far and radiant place no one has been able to reach yet,
let's go find it before everything becomes history.

if we shine

The rainbow after the rain and the flower that bloomed in the cold are changing colours and overflowing
As you looked up at the red sky, on that day, I fell in love with you
Even a single frame of this film full of dramatic instants will not disappear
Because I will engrave it all in my heart

You, it is you, you were the one who taught me
Taught me that even the darkness will shine when it becomes a starry sky
Don’t hide your sadness behind smiles anymore
No matter which shining star it is, it will illuminate you

The morning sun that I was waiting for forgetting even about sleep, in randomly piercing through
Even the headache that the depression brings will be forgotten, if I meet you
The romantic silence
Like the sugar that has been mixed in the tea, your voice circulates all through my body

You, it is you, you were the one who made me smile
Even tears will shine and will become a meteor
Don’t let go this hand that has been hurt anymore
In this sky where all our wishes have been gathered, tomorrow will surely come

The light that guided me was you
Caught up in it, I too started to run
Before I knew it, we were starting to cross paths
Look, right now and right here, it is shining

You, it is you, you were the one who taught me that darkness too will end
Taught me that even the darkness will shine when it becomes a starry sky
Don’t hide your sadness behind smiles anymore
No matter which shining star it is, it will illuminate you

Is the answer always is coincidence? or is it the inevitable?
Someday, the very path that we have chosen will become our fate
The hope and the uncertainty that we have grasped
Will surely become the light that makes us move forward